Some of the genus homo and the species trainius:
Perhaps the most pitied of homo trainius is The Meat. This poor guy/gal is stuck in the middle seat, reading the paper while sitting next to a very large man who is leaning on him/her and a recent-college-grad who is listening to and humming along with Rage Against the Machine.
The Jerky Trainster can read his/her blackberry, listen to an iPod, find their ticket and drink coffee, but can’t be bothered to stand up when a heavily pregnant woman enters the train.
The Skinny Mule, the rarest of all train people, is very considerate, if not over extended. The Mule stacks their work briefcase, their laptop bag and their gym bag all onto their lap. All while wearing a long wool coat, scarf and jaunty cap.
Most common is the Huffy Sleeper. This person, usually found in a two seater, pretends to be asleep, while spread out across two seats. Usually this person has the latest novel laying open on their knee, resting against their stomach. Only wake the Huffy Sleeper if you want to witness the famed “UGHHHHHHHHHH” when they’re prodded from sleep.
